Disordered Eating Behaviors To Be Mindful of Around Children

Erica Ricciardi, MA, NCC, LPC

Children absorb everything around them—the way we talk, act, and even how we treat food. As adults, we may not realize how certain eating behaviors and attitudes can shape a child’s relationship with food and their body. While we often associate eating disorders with extreme cases, disordered eating exists on a spectrum and can manifest in subtle ways that impact young minds.

Here are some common disordered eating behaviors to be mindful of when around children:

1. Labeling Foods as "Good" or "Bad"

Children pick up on black-and-white thinking, and when we categorize foods as "good" or "bad," they may start to feel guilt or shame about their own food choices. Instead, focus on balance—explain that all foods serve a purpose, whether for energy, nourishment, or enjoyment.

2. Diet Talk and Weight-Based Comments

Talking about needing to "burn off" a meal, cutting out carbs, or wanting to lose weight can teach children that their worth is tied to their body size. Instead, emphasize how food fuels the body and focus on what feels good rather than numbers on a scale.

3. Skipping Meals or Restricting Food Groups

Children observe eating patterns, and if they see adults skipping meals or avoiding entire food groups (without a medical reason), they may internalize the idea that eating less is desirable or necessary. This can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food and even restrictive behaviors of their own.

4. Using Food as a Reward or Punishment

Telling a child they can have dessert only if they "earn" it by eating vegetables may make them view certain foods as superior or inferior. Similarly, withholding food as punishment can create an emotional connection between food and self-worth. Instead, present all foods as part of a balanced diet without attaching moral value.

5. Body Shaming—Your Own or Others’

If children hear adults criticize their own bodies or those of others, they may start scrutinizing their own appearance. Comments like "I need to lose this belly" or "She shouldn’t be wearing that" can shape how kids view their own bodies and those around them. Shift the conversation to appreciating what bodies can do rather than how they look.

6. Encouraging the “Clean Plate Club”

Forcing kids to finish their plate can override their natural hunger and fullness cues, making them less attuned to their body’s signals. Instead, teach children to listen to their bodies and stop eating when they feel full.

7. Guilt or Shame Around Eating

Saying things like “I really shouldn’t be eating this” or “I’m being so bad for having dessert” sends the message that eating certain foods is a moral failure. This can contribute to an unhealthy mindset where children feel shame or the need to justify what they eat.

Creating a Positive Food Environment

Instead of reinforcing diet culture, aim to foster a positive and intuitive relationship with food:

• Model balanced eating habits without guilt.

• Encourage kids to listen to their hunger and fullness cues.

• Talk about food in a neutral and nourishing way.

• Emphasize how food fuels our bodies rather than how it affects appearance.

  
  

Children deserve to grow up in a world where food is a source of nourishment and joy, not stress and shame. By being mindful of our words and behaviors, we can help them build a healthy, confident relationship with food that lasts a lifetime.

Have you noticed any of these behaviors in your own environment? What steps have you taken to create a positive food culture for the children in your life? Share your thoughts in the comments!